Are we all lost stars, trying to light up the dark?

Stars hold different meanings for all of us. For me stars represent beauty, light, magic, and wonder. Stars are beautiful shapes that sparkle in the sky a million miles away, they are energy that we can never reach, they are beings that we gaze at and smile, they are whatever we want them to be.

The title for this came from a movie I watched called Begin Again, a movie based in New York in 2014, by writer John Carney (Once), starring Keira Knightley, Adam Levine, and Mark Ruffalo. This inspirational movie is a tale of love, loss, dreams, friendship and hope, and the song ‘Lost Stars’ is the epitome of a feeling I believe we have all felt at one point or other in our lives.

Now enough about the back story of this piece, let’s get on to the nitty gritty. To me ‘Lost Stars’ defines a period in my life, maybe actually a few periods during my 20’s and even now, where you feel like your journey has no direction, no meaning. Time passes by, you experience the good, the bad, the ugly life has to offer, you exist every day, you routine every day, you watch the seasons change, the years pass by and you just BE. Don’t get me wrong- existing is a wonderful thing, a pleasure given to some more than others, but for me and for most of you reading this, I think truly living, living with depth and meaning is the life we want, the life we deserve, the life we were put here to live!

Family, friends, travel, activism, and many other things give us meaning in life, but how can we define this meaning, and how can we make it a daily ritual?

Ikigai is a Japanese concept that embodies happiness in living (Yukari Mitsuhashi, 2018). It is the reason we get up in the morning, our daily motivation, what brings us joy, and what makes our hearts sing. Ikigai looks at various meanings in our lives from becoming parents, to gardening, to reading and even jumping out of a plane. Your meaning in life does not always have to be grand things like saving the environment (there’s no planet B!), or becoming a well-paid financier to make your family proud. Your Ikigai can be a walk in the park with the sun shining on you, a coffee with a friend, a visit to the library, or a cuddle with your dog. We are all different, every single one of the 7.7 billion of us on this planet, so let’s see what makes YOU tick.

Here are some exercises designed by Yukari to help find your Ikigai. Write down the answers and analyse them at the end.

· Think of a time you felt truly and utterly happy.

· What is your favourite memory from childhood, and adulthood?

· What makes you smile on a daily basis?

· What activity makes you feel the most fulfilled?

· When do you feel at your happiest?

· What, who and when do you feel most moved?

· When you’re bored what do you do?

· If you could change anything in your life, what would it be?

· If you could do or be anything in this world what would it be?

· If the world was to end tomorrow, how would you spend your last hours?

· What in your future do you most look forward to?

· What do you wish for in the future, and how can you get it?

· What makes you want to be alive to see tomorrow?

Answering these questions usually provides some common themes and motivations for meaning in your life. For me family, friends, connection, love, and the desire to help others is what popped out for me.

Social interaction, personal connection and showing love and care is what makes me jump out of bed in the morning. I believe my meaning in life is directly influenced by the relationships I have, the connection with people and the happiness that brings me.

Reminding myself of these on a daily basis, alongside proud moments and memories surrounding these, is what helps this lost star shine a little brighter.

We as a society put so much pressure on ourselves to know what we want (I’m looking at you Leaving Cert and CAO), to know where we want to be, to always compare ourselves to our peers, to always ‘keep up with the Jones’, but WE DON’T HAVE TO!

It has taken me many a year, many a city and a lot of soul searching to discover that every one of us is on a different path, a different timeline and a different journey in this galaxy.

We will all feel like a lost star at some point, trying to find our meaning, our direction, our light in the dark, but I just want you to know it’s ok to feel like this. Our biggest breakthroughs come from times of reflection and curiosity within our darkest times. As I mentioned earlier, stars are like life- beautiful, magical and full of wonder. We would never be able to experience a rainbow if we didn’t have a little rain, so embrace the unknown, find your Ikigai, practice it daily, and shine bright like the beacon of light you are!

Love and Light,

Lisa D x